About Me – Alex

Who would have thought that little old me could have a ‘biography’?  Well, if someone like Louis Spence has a legion of followers, then why the heck can’t I? Dante has trawled the web to find a suitable format and the information below and layout is basically adapted from one of the several million Robert Pattinson websites out there – like he needs more than one?!?

Name: Alex Harker (I was born Alexander Wardle, but after getting married in April 2010, I decided to change it to Harker. (p.s this is Dante’s last name…I didn’t just pick the name randomly out of a book…that would be very stupid!) Now, some may view this as some kind of statement of servitude or comment on an out-dated tradition…the truth is, I changed my last name simply because Alex Harker sounds a lot more cool!)

Height: 6’2. I always thought that was quite tall, but a friend of mine, Chris Hastings, makes me feel like Sophie from the BFG.

Born: In a manger.

Favourite food: Substances that contain vast amounts of the following…butter, eggs, sugar, chocolate and flour. Frankly, if I were to die, I either want to go out being a hero saving somebody else, or, be found dead, having engulfed my arm chair – surrounded by empty Lindt wrappers and remnants of home-made baked goods. The council will have to hire a crane to remove me from my home, and the RSPCA will have to treat all 17 of my cats for type 2 diabetes.

Favourite drink: Yazoo milkshake…it has all that calcium in it! Also, I’m partial to a venti espresso light frappuccino with an extra shot and sugar-free caramel syrup; take that, dentist! Also, I have been known to have a gin and tonic…at a wedding or something.

Pets: I tend to not get on with animals, unless I am slow-roasting them with a garlic and rosemary rub. However, the one exception is my lovely kitty Dexter…he is three years old, he loves chewing sellotape on boxes and has a slightly lazy eye.

Pet hates: Xenomorphs over-running my deep-space cargo ship. Also, that feeling when you wake up after a dream where you’ve been having an argument, and then you think it was real so you get all grumpy with your partner/spouse/significant other.

Writings: I have contributed a bit to this website, have written a few children’s stories and picture books, wrote an awful screenplay, and an even more awful theatre play. I have also recently discovered a bunch of badly written essays I did whilst in school…they are very poor, but I may put them up on here…anyone want to read about a Shakespearean audience’s reaction to the character of Caliban? Or perhaps an essay, on the theories of Propp and Todorov when applied to Alien 3? No? Thought not.

Work: As little as possible, although, saying that, I am 26 (or older if I forget to update this) now and have had a job consistently for 11 or more years…so not bad going (not the same one since 15, that would just be strange).

I am now a diving instructor, I run Karang Divers with Dante on a cool desert island called Gili Air in Indonesia – come visit.

Before leaving the UK I worked as a senior sales person at Paperchase in Manchester – we sell lots of pretty papers and things. Before that, there was a long line of (sometimes) dodgy establishments…here goes…

A visual merchandiser at a store called ‘@HOME’ in Salford, a kitchen gadget expert at ‘KITCHENS’ in Cardiff, a soul-less ‘customer liaison’ at British gas, a kitchen monkey at the Norweigan Church cafe in Cardiff bay, a cocktail bartender at ‘Flares’ (I can still smell the cheeky vimto and Turkish bachelor cologne), a children’s party co-ordinator at Cineworld, and usher and barman at the Sherman Theatre. I am sure there are more, so many, many more…!